E's NICU Experiences

This post should take no longer than five minutes to read from start to finish. Trigger warning: This post does mention premature. I strongly believe premature will be triggered because not every premature baby stays in the NICU.

NICU experience and expectations would be different for each individual to have. Let me share with you my experience of E being in the NICU. After E was born, she was sent to the NICU and she has stayed for thirty-three days. Thankfully she didn’t have to stay in NICU until her due date. I've heard from a NICU nurse that babies who has been born prematurely mostly stay in the NICU until baby's/babies' due date.

I know that I've felt sad for weeks about reminding myself that I won’t be feeling any more E’s kicks in the womb, and my pregnancy journey with E has ended (earlier than expected). Within an hour after E was born and while I was early stages of recovering in my room at the hospital, I was given breakfast to consume and I was able to pump colostrum. I got so excited for wanting to visit E in the NICU. I wanted to see how she was doing and I was looking forward to the first time holding E after she was born. 

When I first held E, I felt so much gratitude instantly that she’s alive and I’m alive. I’ve made it through the emergency cesarean (c-section) despite how much pain that I’ve felt. When the first NICU visit comes to an end, I didn’t want to leave. I kept telling myself that I should’ve been still pregnant with her if I didn’t have any complications towards the end of my pregnancy with her. 

"tiny but MIGHTY"

During E’s stay in the NICU; I’ve learned how to use the breast pump for the first time and I don't even remember if I've heard breast pump prior to E's birth.

The first time experience of pumping was easy but after pumping for five days, I've started to feel exhausted but I didn't want to give up pumping. 

I’ve learned the different stages of breastmilk which includes colostrum, and learning the difference between fatty breastmilk and watery looking breastmilk. I've also learned more information about breast pumps (including how to clean them), pumping how to store colostrum and breastmilk and so forth.

One of the visits while I was still in the hospital for the first week; my OB came and visited me to say that it was a rare for someone at 32 weeks to pump colostrum. I didn't know what to say, and inner me felt shocked. I couldn't remember what my expressions was that I've shown outer me.  I truly feel there was a valid reason why I was able to produce colostrum and eventually breastmilk super early into my postpartum recovery. 

I was producing over 1oz (30ml) every three hours for the first several days and then gradually I was producing over 3oz (90ml) every three hours. Eventually I was producing over 5oz (150ml) every three hours. 

Every NICU visit; Jacob would go with me. Jacob and I took turns of holding E. Jacob and I took photos for memories and for us to look back one day how far she has come. Most NICU visits, I’ve given the NICU nurses for E to have the colostrum and breastmilk that I’ve pumped. Each NICU visit; Jacob and I felt so much gratitude that E is still alive. We’re very proud parents. The visits lasts one hour. 

Our visits always consist of; Jacob and I to take turns who says family prayers while one of us was holding E, Jacob says “I love you” to E, I’ve said E “I love you”, Jacob and I share to E about her to stay strong. Sometimes our visits consist of as additional to what was mentioned previously, Jacob and I share to E about we look forward to bringing her home one day, and Jacob and I also share a quick summary about our days was. 

One NICU visit, I’ve asked Jacob to give E a priesthood blessing. Jacob says “yes,” and he has given a powerful priesthood blessing to E. I didn’t remember what was said but I’m truly blessed for being married to honest and true priesthood holder. One NICU visit; I was able to bathe E for the first time. It was a sponge bath and it was fun experience. 

There was ten days when Jacob and I wasn’t able to visit E due to private reasons. During those ten days of not being able to visit her, I was able to drop by to the hospital once for the NICU nurse to collect breastmilk for E to have and I’ve called the NICU everyday to check on how E is doing and any updates. I missed E so badly during those ten days. Those ten days felt so long. I got so used to seeing her almost everyday and always look forward to visiting her. 

While E was in the NICU; I was able to focus on myself to recover as much as I can. I’ve pumped every three hours, I’ve slept so much, I still did laundry, and I still made dinner time to time. One of the NICU nurses has sent me a link to watch E on live through cam focuses on just E but the audio was turned off. I wasn’t able to hear her cries but I felt so grateful to still be able to see her. 

Stay Tuned.