Good Morning or Good Afternoon or Good Evening, this post focuses on highlights of a BYU (Brigham Young University) devotional speech in June 2024 and it's called "Bring Healing Light into Your Life" by Kimberly O. Jenkins. This post is part two. This post should take about five minutes to seven minutes to read from start to finish.
Kimberly has mentioned the following;
"Finding Ourselves Through Service
The next principle is that we often find ourselves by helping others. There is an interesting phrase in the Book of Mormon. It is “poison by degrees,” and it is found in Alma 47, in the middle of the war chapters.
Amalickiah, the bad guy of our story, was seeking power by any means necessary. He was a leader in the Lamanite army, but he was not happy with his position. He first tricked Lehonti, our good guy, into making him second in command of the army. Then Amalickiah had someone slowly administer “poison by degrees” to Lehonti until Lehonti died.
Now, hopefully, most of us don’t have someone who is literally trying to kill us. ... I think there is an interesting metaphor here though. Sometimes we can focus so much on our fears or mistakes that we begin to feel more and more inadequate. Sometimes we have challenges or difficulties build up in our lives, and it can almost feel as if we are being poisoned by degrees.
As I have prepared for this talk today, I have felt directed to share a personal experience. Most of my colleagues and students don’t know this story because I tend to be a private person. But this experience was one in which I felt that I was poisoned by degrees, and I want to share how I found hope and purpose again.
My husband, Curtis, and I have wanted to be parents for a while, but it hadn’t worked out for us. Infertility has been a long and difficult challenge. We have an incredible life with a good marriage, awesome family, fulfilling careers, and the world’s best dog. However, we still want to be parents. After having been married for almost a decade, it was starting to seem as if it might never happen.
Then I got pregnant. It felt like such a miracle. We were so excited and so scared, but my first doctor’s appointment went well. Then at twelve weeks I had my first ultrasound because of some worrying symptoms. The tech was silent as she did the scans. I knew something was very wrong. I was whisked away into another room where the medical team explained that, in addition to a miscarriage, I had a rare complication that causes tumors to grow. I needed surgery right away to remove the tumors because I was at high risk of hemorrhaging.
I hardly slept that night. I stayed up all night reading about my diagnosis and wondering why this had to happen. Why did we have those months when we thought we were getting our miracle only to end up in a much worse circumstance? I had never heard of this condition and didn’t know anyone who had been through it. I felt so alone.
The surgery went well, but the doctor told me that my situation was still serious. As the weeks went on, tiny traces of the tumors could still be detected. The only solution was chemotherapy - literally poisoning my body by degrees in hopes of completely eradicating the tumors. So I would start my morning by checking into the hospital, getting an IV, and then receiving my toxic medication. Then I would come to work here at BYU. Every day I would get a little weaker and the side effects would get stronger.
But the worst part was that I started to get really discouraged. This was the real poison in my life. I was dealing with grief. I had opened space in my heart and life for a child, and I deeply felt that loss. I was looking for purpose in my life. I was overwhelmed and discouraged. I was praying, but I still felt lost.
Interestingly, before all this began, I was scheduled to go on a work trip to American Samoa with a BYU study abroad program called Rheumatic Relief, which provides health clinics for children in areas where there is a high risk for rheumatic heart disease. This program had been part of BYU for many years, and we were relaunching it after the pandemic had passed. As a communicator, my job was to capture the story of the trip by conducting interviews and taking photos and videos. I would also provide administrative support.
The problem was that the trip was scheduled to start right after what would now be my tenth chemo infusion. My oncologist told me I should cancel the trip. I, being the easygoing patient that I am, told him I thought he was wrong. I asked him to reconsider because I was really struggling with everything and I wanted and needed to do some good in the world. I needed to balance out the darkness by bringing light into my life. My oncologist said he would consult with his colleagues, and a few days later he gave permission.
By the time the trip came around, I was quite sick from the chemo. I didn’t have much energy as I began packing. My husband and dog did everything they could to help me, which is why none of my clothes matched during the trip and everything had a little bit of fur on it.
I got on the plane, and I prayed that I could be of some use. I prayed for hope and purpose. I tried to trust that this was where God wanted me, and I threw myself into the work.
Healing Light
... I felt God’s love for the people in American Samoa. I could feel how important it was that we were there sharing our time, talents, and resources. God needed us to help bless some of His children. As I felt that love, I started to also feel glimpses of God’s love for me.
I realized that even though it might have been the hardest week of my life physically, it had changed everything spiritually and mentally. I was no longer overwhelmed by frustrations and the fear of not feeling that I was enough.
Through serving, I finally received the perspective that I needed to begin healing and to stop feeling so lost. It was a real testament to the Savior’s promise in Matthew 16:25: “Whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.”
Now I don’t want to act like everything suddenly became easy. It didn’t. ... I still had a lot to face and to overcome. But as I stand here almost exactly one year after finishing chemo, I want to bear testimony that the Lord was there for me, strengthening me and helping me find the answers I needed.
As I did everything that I could to bring light into my life, the Savior multiplied that light.
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The World Needs You
At BYU and in the Church, service is an integral part of who we are and what we do. You have all seen the signs on campus that read “Enter to learn; go forth to serve.” We often talk about this at graduation, and that is certainly a fitting time. However, I hope this phrase is also ingrained in your everyday life.
“Go forth to serve” is certainly a call to action. It is also a gift. When we serve, we receive hope, peace, gratitude, and purpose for our lives.
You are surrounded by people who need you. They need your unique talents and abilities. They need the hope only you can give.
Looking back, many of the greatest experiences in my life have been those in which I was the answer to someone else’s prayers. When you feel overwhelmed while looking at the challenges in our world, look to God and to those around you who might need your help. God will help you find ways in which you can contribute and do good. He will help you see the people who need your help the most.
So let’s bring this back to Amalickiah. Throughout our lives we all have different Amalickiahs that we have to deal with. In some cases it is six midterms in one week. At other times it may be feelings of inadequacy, temptation, a series of difficult trials, questions of faith, discouragement, or even loneliness.
In all those cases, the best thing we can do is to bring Light into our lives: Light with a capital L. John 8:12 reads: “Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.”
We need that Light always, but especially when we face the challenges of our lives. The promised blessings we will receive are powerful. President Russell M. Nelson said: When sore trials come upon us, it’s time to deepen our faith in God, to work hard, and to serve others. Then He will heal our broken hearts. He will bestow upon us personal peace and comfort.
The Atonement of Jesus Christ makes it possible for Him to help us with whatever our challenges may be. While it is disconcerting to not always see the path forward, we can have peace knowing that the Savior is our guide and our strength. As the Lord told Nephi:
I will also be your light in the wilderness; and I will prepare the way before you, if it so be that ye shall keep my commandments; wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards the promised land; and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led.
I want to bear my testimony that Jesus is the Christ. There is peace in following Him, especially during turbulent times. I want to bear testimony that whatever you are facing, He knows how to help, bless, and strengthen you. ..."
Here's the link to the devotional speech.
Stay Tuned.
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